The brown eye won't let me do that either.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
