some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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