nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
