I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
