Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
