either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
