I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
