I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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