the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
