Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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