i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
