And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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