and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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