Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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