soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
