they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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