Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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