Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
