I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Buhtt sex?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
