I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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