I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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