First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
