i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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