Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
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