I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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