your thong is hanging out like whoa
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
