Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
