Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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