we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
