Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
