I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize