Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
