are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
