she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
