Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
