The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
