Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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