Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just blew my weed a kiss
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
