you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
