yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
