dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
