in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I am naked and annoyed.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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