You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
