you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
