xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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