You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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