i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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