i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
