somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
