i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
