well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
