Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
