I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
