the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
