Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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