He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
