Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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