We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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